Totally Illegal
Chapter 2

Europe

Centuries of kings, empires, and extremely dedicated clerks left Europe with rule books thicker than castle walls. Some of those rules never got deleted.

Trouble-o-Meter
Rural police use it to bust illegal fish poaching syndicates.

Status: still on the books

Why Is This a Law?

This law was designed to combat illegal poaching and underground fish-smuggling rings. By making it illegal to handle poached fish, police could arrest black-market smugglers.

A citizen earnestly dealing with the law: It is a criminal offense to handle a salmon in suspicious circumstances.
Trouble-o-Meter
Inspectors can issue fines or confiscate the lonely pet.

Status: still on the books

Why Is This a Law?

Scientists proved that guinea pigs are highly social herd animals that suffer severe psychological stress when kept alone. Recognizing their emotional needs, the government mandated they must live with companions.

A citizen earnestly dealing with the law: It is completely illegal to own just one guinea pig because they get too lonely; they must live in pairs or groups.
Trouble-o-Meter
Highway police routinely issue fines from €30 to €105.

Status: still on the books

Why Is This a Law?

The German Autobahn features stretches of road with no speed limits, making stopping incredibly dangerous. Running out of fuel is considered a completely preventable human error.

A citizen earnestly dealing with the law: It is illegal to stop your car on the highway just because you ran out of gas.
Trouble-o-Meter
Modern police would just stop you at the door.

Status: technically enforceable

Why Is This a Law?

In 1313, furious noblemen kept showing up to Parliament wearing battle armor and carrying swords to intimidate King Edward II. To stop the bullying, the King banned armor in parliament.

A citizen earnestly dealing with the law: It is strictly forbidden to wear a full suit of armor inside the Houses of Parliament.
Trouble-o-Meter
No aliens have ever been arrested or fined yet.

Status: still on the books

Why Is This a Law?

During a 1954 wave of UFO hysteria, the local mayor realized a ban would get free global advertising for his town's wine. He wrote a serious-sounding anti-UFO law, and journalists flocked there.

A citizen earnestly dealing with the law: The flying over, landing, or taking off of flying saucers is strictly forbidden, and any alien craft will be impounded.
Trouble-o-Meter
Local inspectors hand out on-the-spot fines up to €700.

Status: still on the books

Why Is This a Law?

The city's massive pigeon population was pecking at microscopic gaps in ancient statues to find crumbs. Their highly acidic droppings were severely eroding priceless marble, costing taxpayers millions.

A citizen earnestly dealing with the law: It is illegal to sell birdseed to or feed the pigeons in St. Mark's Square.
Trouble-o-Meter
Police issue fines ranging from €100 to €250 for sand architecture.

Status: still on the books

Why Is This a Law?

Giant sand structures and abandoned deep holes create severe safety hazards on crowded beaches. They block emergency rescue workers, cause tripped ankles, and stop night-time beach cleaning tractors from operating safely.

A citizen earnestly dealing with the law: It is completely illegal to build sandcastles or dig deep holes on the public beaches.
Trouble-o-Meter
Tourists refusing to put on shirts face fines up to €300.

Status: still on the books

Why Is This a Law?

Millions of tourists began treating the historic metropolis like a giant resort, wandering into banks and cathedrals in wet swimsuits. Fed up with the disrespect, the city mandated real clothes off the sand.

A citizen earnestly dealing with the law: It is illegal to walk on the city streets wearing only swimwear or going bare-chested outside of the immediate beach area.

Myth or Law? — The Europe Challenge

You have toured the continent, but can you spot the fake among the facts? Two of these European laws are totally real, while one is a legendary internet fib. See if you can sniff out the imposter!

Two of these are real, citable laws. One is a famous fake — can you spot it?

It is strictly illegal to own a single guinea pig, as they must be kept in pairs or groups.

It is completely illegal in France to name a pet pig Napoleon out of respect for the former emperor.

It is a traffic offense to stop your vehicle on the highway just because you ran out of gas.

The verdicts:

[real] It is strictly illegal to own a single guinea pig, as they must be kept in pairs or groups. — This is a real law in Switzerland! To protect herd animals from loneliness, it was mandated by the Swiss Animal Protection Ordinance of 2008, Article 13.

[myth] It is completely illegal in France to name a pet pig Napoleon out of respect for the former emperor. — This is a famous fake! The myth actually started when a nervous French publisher voluntarily changed a dictator pig's name to Cesar in the 1947 translation of George Orwell's book Animal Farm.

[real] It is a traffic offense to stop your vehicle on the highway just because you ran out of gas. — This is a real law in Germany! It is enforced by the Straßenverkehrsordnung (StVO) sections 18 and 23, which classify an empty tank as a preventable human error.