The 'Tal Bagels' Brine-Whipped Olive & Pimento Emulsion
Chapter 2 — Cream Cheeses & Schmears
An olive schmear is mostly a vehicle for a splash of green-olive brine. Back-of-house deli guys don't soften their blocks of cream cheese with mayonnaise or heavy cream; they use high-speed friction and a splash of plain seltzer water to force carbon dioxide into the fat matrix, creating a lofted emulsion. To build it, drop the cold blocks into the mixer bowl, lock the paddle attachment, and let the machine fold in the red pimento, yielding a final spread defined by nothing but the lactic tang of the cheese cut by the sharp, acidic punch of Spanish olive brine, ready for the plastic deli tub.
Before you start
Temper the cream cheese.
Do not let the cheese come entirely to room temperature. Letting it sit on the counter for exactly 20 to 30 minutes takes the hard chill off. If it is too cold, your paddle attachment will struggle; if it is too warm, the emulsion will break into a greasy puddle.
Ingredients
- full-fat cream cheese16 oz
- pimento-stuffed Spanish green olives3/4 cup
- olive brine1 1/2 tbsp
- unflavored seltzer water3 tbsp
- black pepper1/8 tsp
Method
- 01
Aerate the tempered cream cheese.
Place the slightly softened blocks of cream cheese in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Beat on medium-high speed for 2 minutes until the cheese smooths out and clings to the sides of the bowl, then stop the mixer and scrape down the sides with a rubber spatula.
- 02
Incorporate the initial liquids.
In a small vessel, combine 2 tablespoons of the seltzer water and 1 tablespoon of the olive brine. Turn the mixer to medium speed and slowly drizzle the liquid mixture into the bowl until absorbed.
- 03
Whip to a glossy emulsion.
Increase the mixer speed to high and whip for exactly 2 to 3 minutes. The trapped carbonation will transform the cheese into a bright, airy white paste with the volume and visual texture of buttercream. If the mixture feels too stiff, add the remaining seltzer and brine and whip for 15 more seconds.
- 04
Fold in the olives by hand.
Remove the bowl from the mixer. Add the finely chopped olives and black pepper, using your rubber spatula to firmly fold them into the aerated cheese. Never use the mixer for this step, or you risk pureeing the olives and turning the entire batch an unappetizing shade of grey-green.
- 05
Chill to set the structure.
Transfer the emulsion to an airtight deli container and refrigerate for at least 2 hours before serving. This allows the butterfat to firm back up slightly around the trapped carbon dioxide, locking the fluffy loft in place while the briny flavors permeate the dairy.
Notes
The Schmear-to-Protein Ratio.
Do not scrape this thinly like butter. Use a wide bagel knife to scoop a golf-ball-sized mound of the whipped cheese and apply it to the bottom half of the bagel, pushing it edge-to-edge in a thick, uniform layer. Apply a slightly thinner layer to the top half to act as an adhesive.
The Canonical Savory Build.
Pair this specific schmear on a freshly baked Everything bagel with 3 ounces of bias-cut Nova lox, paper-thin shaved red onion, and thick slices of beefsteak tomato. Crucially, salt your tomato slices and drain them on paper towels for 2 minutes before assembly to prevent a soggy bagel sandwich.